> Pet Diaries>> Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
>> 8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
>> 9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
>> 9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
>> 10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing
>> 12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
>> 1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
>> 3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
>> 5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
>> 7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
>> 8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
>> 11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
>>> Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
>> Day 683 of my captivity:>> My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
>They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
>hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
>rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep
>up my strength.
>> The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape; in an attempt
>to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.
>> Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet.
>I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
>demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending >comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
>> There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was
>placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I >could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement >was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how >to use it to my advantage.
>> Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my >tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this >again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
>> I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches.
>> The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and >seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
>> The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the >guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors >have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is >safe....... for now...
No comments:
Post a Comment